Sentimentality

Last Friday and Saturday, I went up to my mom’s house to help her go through things. I’ve been trying to get over there about once a month to do things for her and check on her since my dad passed away. Last Saturday morning we started going through things a little bit. And what happened? We got rid of some things, but a lot more were hung on to because of.....sentimentality.

My dad’s first wife left him in the early 70’s and took everything. Literally. I can’t imagine going through that. But that changed him. Anything that was furniture, and that was in the family was very tightly hung on to by my dad. And for almost 41 years my parents were married, so my mom was a part of that as well. So in 1987 when my dad’s dad died, a lot of things came into our house. When my dad’s mom died in 1999, more things came into our house. And now, my mom has all of this stuff. And what do you do with it? Do you hang on to it because it was in the family, and even though it’s really not needed, you feel obligated to hang on to it?

At the end of my paternal grandmother’s life, she needed a walker. As I shared before she passed away in 1999. That walker stayed at our house. In the fall of 2016, my dad was needing a walker. Guess what he pulled out? That same walker. So he hung on to a thing for 17 years as a “just in case”.  And when we were going through things in the garage last Saturday, there was a small box labeled.....”walker parts”. You guessed it, it were extensions for the very same walker. And what did my mom say? “I’m going to hang on to that because I may need a walker.” Frustrating, but when you’ve lived that life and have that mentality, it’s pretty much impossible to change.

So am I saying that you shouldn’t be sentimental about things? Absolutely not! I have things that I am sentimental about, but you have to remember the purpose and place of things. Just because it has been handed down through the family, if you don’t need it and can’t find a use for it, don’t take it. I know that sounds harsh, but you end up with a whole bunch of clutter that makes your life difficult. Memories aren’t the things, they’re inside of us.

In going through things with my mom, I’ve told her that yes there are things that I would like, but it’s a matter of what we’re going to use. And once we buy our house, we’ll have a better idea of what our needs are. But I’m not going to be sentimental about it. I’m going to be practical.